R E S T R I C T E D

(Shown in photo above: Deion – Blush – $65)

Hey y’all!

It’s a lovely Friday afternoon. I’m currently watching stormy skies roll in from the northwest, hoping they stay as long as possible. I’m a Florida girl and my spirit thrives in this type of weather. Today, I was inspired to speak to you about restrictions.

For most of us, the word “restriction” has a negative connotation. I grew up dreading the word seeing as my mother used it in replacement of the word “grounded”. It is also commonly used to describe limiting food diets.

But what does the word “restrict” actually mean? Here’s the definition according to dictionary.com:

Restrict (verb) to confine or keep within limits, as of space, action, choice, intensity, or quantity.

Here are a few synonyms for the term “restriction”: Limitation, Restraint, Constraint, Regulation.

Most of you should be familiar with the term “regulation” in regards to the rules at your place of work.

We see many limitations in the Bible, most being stated in the Old Testament, starting in the very first book.

“but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

– Genesis 2:17

God’s restrictions are always to protect, not only our physical bodies, but our souls as well. In the book of Genesis, God gives Adam and Eve the choice to eat from the tree but warns them not to. Eve is eventually manipulated by satan to eat from it. She then convinces Adam to do the same. The rest is history.

They were the only humans in history who had the opportunity to live a perfect life, they had the closest relationship with God, yet they still went against His restrictions with ignorant hopes of bettering themselves.

This is a mistake many of us have made, mostly while growing up under our parent’s roofs, but even well into adult hood. Some of these broken restrictions may include the following:

  1. Don’t talk to strangers

  1. Always wear your seatbelt

  1. Don’t text and drive

  1. Ask for permission before leaving the house

  2. No playing ball inside the house

  3. Wear your helmet

  4. No boys at the house when I’m not home

These were all restrictions that were set in place by my mother that I broke and suffered appropriate consequences, none of which were done by my mother. Below are a few of those stories.

(4.) I was not allowed to go anywhere with a friend if my mom had not yet met their parents and approved. I broke this role one time and quickly regretted the decision. I was only in elementary school, a friend asked to hang out, and my mom was at work. Instead of asking her for permission I decided I would go, she would never know, and everything would be okay. Boooy, was I wrong.

I gave my friend my address to come pick me up. Her father ended up parking at the end of my street rather than right in front of my house. I had to walk all the way over there to meet them. He drove a two seater, white painters van with no windows in the back. I was asked to get in the back where there was no seat and no seatbelt. This should have been my first warning sign to go home but I got in.

He asked where we wanted to go and I suggested Sunset Park which was about 20 minutes away. I was under the impression that he agreed, however he took us to a nearby soccer park. My friend and I were both girls who were not sporty at the time so I found it odd that he took us to this boring park. There was no playground, there was no water park, there were no animals…

We parked, he made his daughter get in the back with me, and this is when things got really bad. He started asking me questions. Normal questions like “what’s your favorite color?”. I felt uneasy but answered them anyways. This eventually lead to the following dialogue:

Her dad: “you guys are best friends right?”

Me: yes

Her dad: “Do you love each other?”

Me: “yes”

Her dad: “you should kiss each other.”

Me: *makes weird face*

Her dad: “back in my day we had to prove we loved each other by kissing.” “Go on, kiss her.”

Me: “no…”

Her dad: “oh come on, at least on the cheek.”

My memory blanks out after this. Somehow we did end up outside of the van, we did not kiss, and we were able to walk a short distance away from him. I never questioned my friend, because I was confused, and scared at the time. I just told her I wanted to go home. Her dad dropped me off right in front of my house and drove away before I was to the front door.

I didn’t tell my mom about this until years later because I was embarrassed and knew I would never make that decision again.

(6.) Another time I broke one of these restrictions was also during my elementary school days. My mom had bought me a helmet and elbow/knee pads since I was always using some sort of scooter or bike. The friends I had at the time would make fun of me when I wore them, so as long as my mom wasn’t looking, I didn’t wear them.

One day I was riding my bike in the front of the house. We had a steep driveway and I loved rolling down it at top speed. I always looked left and right to check for traffic before making the journey down. However, one day an SUV came speeding around the corner, so by the time I reached the road it hit me. I woke up later at the hospital with my mom. She was picking pieces of gravel out of my cheek.

I ended up being fine physically but mentally it traumatized me for years. I began to triple and quadruple check both ways of traffic, which is something I still do to this day out of paranoia that a vehicle will show up seemingly out of nowhere. I also hadn’t ridden a bike, since that incident until about a year ago when I tried just to see if I still knew how.

PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING

(7.) This last story is a lot more disturbing, dark, and scary. I recommend parental advisory before continuing if you’re one of my younger followers.

When I was 11 years old I made the worst decision of my life. I had two close girl friends at the time. One whom became very interested in entertaining boys. At the time I didn’t realize how you could end up in a bad situation due to the actions of the people you surrounded yourself with.

Both of my girl friends became friends with a boy who was two grades above us and was either 13 or 14 years old. We’ll call him “Archie”. He hung out with us for a few weeks and everything was fine. One day, Archie invited his older brother, who was 16 years old and not in school, to hang out with us. We’ll call him “Tony”. He was a strong boy, adult height, who clearly worked out.

All of us hung out together often for a few more weeks, possibly even a month or two. I never saw or heard anything inappropriate come from anyone in the group. One day, my two girl friends were unable to hang out, but the boys still wanted to see me. We had always hung out at my girl friend’s neighborhood, but since they were unable to join us, I decided to invite the boys over to my house. This is when my life turned into a nightmare

PARENTAL ADVISORY WARNING

Ask your parents for permission to continue reading. Also, if you’re an adult, precede with caution. You can skip to the โ˜๏ธ emoji to avoid anything disturbing.

My mom was at work, I didn’t tell her anyone was coming over, and the boys knew this. Everything that happened after I let them into the house is a messy blur. Tony, the 16 year old, sexually assaulted me, strongly against my will. When he was done, I saw his younger brother in the hallway looking freaked out. Tony then told Archie to do the same thing to me. Archie was extremely hesitant and you could tell he knew it was wrong. Tony overpowered Archie and he did end up doing the same thing. I’m 99% sure that was Archie’s first time as well.

Feeling extremely broken, embarrassed, confused, and bleeding I tried to clean myself up and tidy up the house. I struggled and tried to fight back during this whole experience so the house was a mess. All I remember thinking about was getting the house organized before my mom came home.

I had never previously been informed about sexual assault so I thought this was all my fault, I was the bad person in this situation, and I felt shameful. At only 11 years old I didn’t even know the terms to describe what happened, how it wasn’t my decision, and how I did say, “NO“. Unfortunately this means when I told my mom, she was disappointed in me because she thought I made the decision to do it.

Feeling now even more shame than before, I tried calling my dad (who lives in another state) and asking him questions to try to figure out if it was my fault and if it was considered rape. Keep in mind, I asked him very vague questions and was never able to fully explain this occurrence to either of my parents. Poor 11-year-old-me came to the conclusion that since it ultimately did happen, it was my fault. I should’ve fought harder.

It wasn’t until my freshman year of high school that I learned all about rape in my sex education class. I was about 14 years old when I realized that what had been done to me wasn’t only wrong, it was illegal.

I immediately starting thinking of how to proceed with this new information, explain to my parents what actually happened, and have these boys punished. However, that never happened and I still have no justice to this day. Why? The boys and their family were in our country illegally and had recently been deported back to their country where they were untouchable by our law system.

This is a circumstance that still haunts me, makes me feel insecure and unworthy at times, and will forever be a part of my life story.

โ˜๏ธ

Why did I share these awful stories with you? To give real life examples of how restrictions are not a bad thing. In fact, I love restrictions. If I would have obeyed them or had the reasonings behind them explained to me I could have avoided a lot of fear and heartbreak.

Thankfully I serve a God who tells me to not feel guilty, not to worry about being judged, and not to worry about the fact that I never got justice in any of these situations.

It wasn’t until I was 21 years old that I started reading the Bible and learning of God’s promises. At 24 years old I am proud to say,

“I AM GRACEFULLY RESTRICTED”.

If you feel like someone is placing unfair restrictions on you, think first about why they may be doing that. Chances are they’re trying to protect you or in some cases, themselves. This could be your parents, romantic partner, or someone else. Open up the discussion with them to figure it out.

This post was sponsored by Restricted Shoes.

They sell many different adorable styles of high quality shoes at affordable prices. Most importantly they’re so comfy! I actually posted a bunch of my old shoes for sale on my Mercari Thrift Boutique (starting at $5; click link to shop my closet) because these are sooo comfy. I actually look forward to wearing them and don’t want to take them off sometimes. Be sure to check them out!

(Shown in photos above: Hashtag – whiskey – $60)

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6 thoughts on “R E S T R I C T E D

  1. It is very brave of you to share your experiences. I am very sorry to hear about all of them but I hope you are finding the peace and support that you need to know that none of these things were your fault. You were just a little kid, how could you know? Much love in your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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